Everything's Coming Up Roses

Well, the day is at the end and I picked up my oldest. At the suggestion of a very dear friend, I made pumpkin muffins for an afterschool snack (he loves them). It's still pouring like crazy here and as we are walking out of campus, a classmate says, "Where did you get that umbrella?" My son, "I don't remember." I tell his classmate where it was and as I am telling him this, I notice his rainboots are frog rainboots. Ha, ha, ha.........too sweet!

So, my son was not chastised for his umbrella. My son didn't say anything about the day that was out of the ordinary. I asked him what he thought of his umbrella and he still thinks it's cool. So, all went well and I"m relaxing........................until the next possible lesson presents itself.

Thanks to my friends who gave me the support to make it through the day.

Billy Elliott

No, my oldest son doesn't take dance classes or has any real interest in singing or tapping. Well, I guess he taps or does the jig when he has his flip-flops on cuz he likes the sound. I titled this Billy Elliott because of my issues with what occurred this morning.

It's pouring down rain here and the boys are all getting ready to go to school. They put on their rain coats (with hoods) and my oldest decides he wants to bring the umbrella that we had bought for him when he was 5y.o. Oh, how adorable! Even though he's 8y.o., he still has that little boy in him and I love that! The umbrella goes up and 2 frog eyes stick up. The umbrella is bright green and his rain coat is the typical yellow raincoat with hood, zipper and hooks to close up the coat. Gosh, he's cute and still so very sweet.

As we are driving to school, I realize all the other kids have the typical umbrella. Kids his age have regular umbrellas, kids his age have the regular umbrellas, kids his age have the regular umbrellas....................oh no, is my son going to get teased at school for having his frog umbrella? Maybe it's even cooler that he has this type of umbrella. So, I ask my son if he would rather have my umbrella (typical) for school or just use his hood. Nope, he wants his umbrella. How awesome that he wants it and is confident with it. What if some boys at school tease him? This might be my own projection. But, if he does get teased, it'll kill me.........think Vivian....teachable moments here! If I tell him not to take his umbrella, then he'll be upset that mom took it away. What do I do? Oh God, goddesses, universe, help my son through this if he gets teased. Give him the power of persuasive rhetoric!! Vivian, you must let go and allow life to teach its lessons. Don't be one of those parents who coddle their kids to the point where they have no ability to make decisions on their own.

We get to school and he happily says, "Bye Mom! See ya afterschool." I see the back of his bright yellow raincoat and 2 frog eyes sticking straight up above him on his green umbrella. It only takes us 5 minutes to drive to school. sigh..........I hope I did the right thing.

Comments anyone?

Y.M.C.A.

This is the only song I could think of with what I've been experiencing and thinking of. They say it takes a village to raise a child. I BELIEVE it!!!

I am one of the lucky ones who has family all over the Bay Area or just all over who are willing to help me out. As some of you know, my husband, Greg, works in technical theater. He's been home for over a year, but has had to go back on the road to keep our health insurance going (60 days = 6 mos. coverage...not bad and it's really good insurance). So, I've been home since the middle of this month and will continue this for awhile as a "single mom".

Thank God for my cousins. My cousins are very close to me. We grew up together, but more importantly, it reminds me of my Asian heritage and how valuable the family is. They are my village. On some occasional Fridays, my cousin in Palo Alto will have me over and our kids (she has 3, I have 2) will play late into the evening while we have appetizers, a drink or two, dinner for everyone, etc. I get to chat with an adult and relax a bit. It's a lot of fun. The benefits other than myself having some adult time and a drink or two, are that my boys really know their cousins. They understand who they are and how important they are. My boys know that their cousins are family and they will defend them to the end.

It's really quite amazing. My youngest son was happiest when he had a birthday party just with his cousins at our house. I ask him, "Chuck E. Cheese?" "Gymnastics?" "Pump It Up?" He said no to all of that and said he just wanted his cousins over at our home. Easy enough and very sweet. The reward is that my boys understand the value of family.

My other cousin in Castro Valley calls me today and states that she wants to take the boys out for a belated shopping spree while I go get a massage. What?!!! Really? She was dead serious. I have the best family and my heart is filled with gratitude, love, and respect.

No worries people.....we do get to see Greg in Chicago for Thanksgiving and D.C. for X'mas. Adrienne, my sis, will meet up with us since she lives in NY. So, all is good.

Broadway Baby

As some of you know, I love listening to NPR/KQED (local area) and came across in the beginning of this month a great talk about kids. It was on "Forum" and the guest was Po Bronson. What an amazing discussion on his topic called Nurture Shock.

Essentially, it was about how "we" as parents have an innate tendency to overpraise our children. We want our kids to do well. We don't want them to feel like they are not worthy, etc. Instead of making these praises in a general statement, we need to be very specific. Now, I have heard all of this before and I have always tried to be very specific (having been a teacher and school counselor), but it's different when they are your own children. Added to the genetics is the fact that caregivers can get rattled and end up reacting rather than being just present and conscious (a lot harder than most people think when your own children have needs and continue to share them with you). I am guilty of doing the general statements and then catching myself or not. The great thing is that Po Bronson normalizes it.

I loved the information shared on NPR, but what I got out of it is the understanding that we, as mothers, try to do it all and do it all perfectly. Crazy, eh? This leads me to another book I read many years ago by Bruno Bettelheim called "The Good Enough Parent". I learned that if I take the anxiety away from myself trying to be the "forever conscious" parent, then my kids don't get anxious. I"m not saying it's okay to be in zombie-land while parenting all the time, but those that try so hard to be the "great parent" can chill out a bit.

Isn't this great?! Now go have a glass of wine!!! :o)

One Love, One Heart

One love, one heart
Let's get together and feel all right
Hear the children crying (One love)
Hear the children crying (One heart)
Sayin', "Give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right."

Ahhhh....Bob Marley and my high school daze!!! Felt the need after a friend of mine who is no longer at ACT, but in Florida teaching at the university, sang Marley. Also, it helps that I was just at a Science Committee meeting and remember those days when I was a teacher staying late at night for the students. Students weren't there, but parents and teachers were there to help kick start the year with a science bang! I figured it's tough being a parent whilst her husband is on the road, but then I see the teachers and realize I don't have it that rough. Or, if I do, the teachers are still there. So, I will be too. That's right Marley........"I will feel all right".

Astonishing

Just finished watching the Oprah show. I enjoy her show. Well, there are times when it's okay, but for the most part, I enjoy the topics.

So, while making Mac 'n Cheese (whole grain pasta and Ellie Krieger's recipe where you mix the cheese with pureed squash....this was way before Jessica Seinfeld's concoction) for my boys, I hear about this couple who had twins and then................sextuplets! My mouth dropped. I'm so busy with 2 boys, I can't imagine having 8 kids. I was truly astonished as to how this couple keep it together. My hats off to them.

I've been feeling tired lately due to the flu hitting our house here. Sleepless nights with worry, fever, vomit, crying, etc has taken it's toll on me. I've been eating raw garlic and vitamin C to keep me semi-protected. If they aren't sick, I'm taking them to gymnastics or swimming or playdates. It's all so crazy sometimes and it forces me to stay completely present since I have no other choice. It's a blessing. How this couple handles that with 8 kids will be amazing. Hmmm...what kind of car do you purchase for that many people? A bus? Amidst all the craziness, I did have time for some "me" therapy. I had a great time at Anthropologie's sale in Palo Alto. Ahhhh, much better.

Vivian's Lament

Every fall the controversy of taking or not taking the flu shot comes up. Everyone says it's a hit or miss as to whether the biotech companies have come up with the right flu virus. Well, I have to say that this year they missed the mark. My boys have been so sick!!! I'm praying I don't catch this flu. It seems so nasty!!! High fever, congestion, exhaustion, coughing (that dry hacking cough) need I say more?

I used to be an elementary school teacher and my first year teaching I swore I had some disease. I was constantly sick and always at my doctor's office. He would just reassure me that due to my exposure to the little ones, my immune system was building up. After that one year, I ended up taking the flu shot until I stopped teaching. I have to admit that it helped. When I stopped teaching, I stopped the flu shots.

Fast forward to now having children and once again teaching students again; I have decided flu shots will be our choice. My oldest son is 6 y.o. and he never has had something like this until this year. So, I guess when I take a look at the grand scheme of things, the flu shot has been helpful. I know there are other confines i.e. maybe we weren't exposed to the virus that would make us sick. Either way, it's been worth it. As a mom and a teacher, thumbs up for the flu shot.

Sing Happy

As the Chinese New Year celebrations begin, we are looking forward to our blessed New Year full of love, laughter, and peace. We had an awesome day today at the Oakland Museum. They were celebrating the Lunar New Year with a ton of kid-friendly events.

We arrived at noon and it was still drizzling. So, the museum changed the location of the Opening Celebrations to the indoors. The boys had front row seats and experienced the Lion Dancers up close and personal. Geoffrey just loves this stuff. I had brought him to a Chinese New Year celebration when we were on the road and in Philly. We went to the Chinatown there and it was filled with Lion Dancing plus the crazy fireworks up and down each storefront. Let me stop digressing about Philly.

The museum did a great job!!! There were so many activities to be had by children. After the Lion Dancing, it was mochi pounding. We LOVE mochi. It's rice that has been pounded into this smooth consistency and chewy texture. My kids just absolutely love this stuff. I grew up on this stuff as well. My mother was born in Kobe, Japan and brought some of these Japanese traditions to my Chinese upbringing. You should have seen us. We were all salivating watching them pound the rice to the beat of the Taiko Drums. Geoffrey had a chance to experience the mochi pounding. He had a blast!!! The best was when we all got to eat freshly made mochi. YUM!!

Losing My Mind

I'm not sure if this is due to motherhood, age, or both, but I've been having one of those days where you walk to one part of the house and forget why you were walking there. I would stand there and say to myself, 'What was I coming out here for?' I swear I was driving myself nuts!!! I have always been someone who has had an incredible memory, but this short time memory lapse has got to go.

Maybe I need to get out and play mah-jong to keep my mind fit. It's like I'm 'losing... my...maaahhhhhnnnnndd'

I Can Cook, Too

You just have to love bread machines. I bake our own bread since my boys are highly allergic to nuts of all kinds. I have learned to read labels religiously and found that a lot of breads, even at Whole Foods, have been processed in a facility where equipment is shared with nuts. It's exhausting looking for breads that are completely nut-free. So, I decided to bake my own. It's been great!! The boys love it. The house smells so yummy. And, it's all nut-free. Gotta love that!!! I have found there are certain yeast brands that are better than others as well as bread flour. These bread machines have so many options these days that I think it can even make you a sandwich! Ha.

WII like it!!!

Well, I succumbed to my kids wanting very much to play video games. I know, I know.....it's suppose to be horrible for them, etc. However, I secretly was interested in it as well. So, I thought my only game plan was to find a system that had another element to it.

Then came WII. I thought this was clever in that the kids had to MOVE. I am an active person with a lot of dance/sport experience. It's ingrained in me to move. This WII system was amazing!!! I loved it and loved the idea. Off to shop for one. Well, not so easy. Every time I went to purchase the system, the store would be sold out. To make a long story short, I was able to purchase one prior to the Christmas rush.

I love it and the kids love it. WII sports is the bomb!!!! I haven't gone too far into the games where one just sits and moves the remote/nunchucks. I want my kids to move. This isn't a cop out for getting my kids outside; however, with all the rain.....this keeps them moving inside. We are sweating by the time we are done. My muscles are sore the next day from boxing. I went out and purchased the DDR to keep "dancing". It's loads of fun.

Two thumbs up from the Pott Family!!!!!