This is the only song I could think of with what I've been experiencing and thinking of. They say it takes a village to raise a child. I BELIEVE it!!!
I am one of the lucky ones who has family all over the Bay Area or just all over who are willing to help me out. As some of you know, my husband, Greg, works in technical theater. He's been home for over a year, but has had to go back on the road to keep our health insurance going (60 days = 6 mos. coverage...not bad and it's really good insurance). So, I've been home since the middle of this month and will continue this for awhile as a "single mom".
Thank God for my cousins. My cousins are very close to me. We grew up together, but more importantly, it reminds me of my Asian heritage and how valuable the family is. They are my village. On some occasional Fridays, my cousin in Palo Alto will have me over and our kids (she has 3, I have 2) will play late into the evening while we have appetizers, a drink or two, dinner for everyone, etc. I get to chat with an adult and relax a bit. It's a lot of fun. The benefits other than myself having some adult time and a drink or two, are that my boys really know their cousins. They understand who they are and how important they are. My boys know that their cousins are family and they will defend them to the end.
It's really quite amazing. My youngest son was happiest when he had a birthday party just with his cousins at our house. I ask him, "Chuck E. Cheese?" "Gymnastics?" "Pump It Up?" He said no to all of that and said he just wanted his cousins over at our home. Easy enough and very sweet. The reward is that my boys understand the value of family.
My other cousin in Castro Valley calls me today and states that she wants to take the boys out for a belated shopping spree while I go get a massage. What?!!! Really? She was dead serious. I have the best family and my heart is filled with gratitude, love, and respect.
No worries people.....we do get to see Greg in Chicago for Thanksgiving and D.C. for X'mas. Adrienne, my sis, will meet up with us since she lives in NY. So, all is good.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Broadway Baby
As some of you know, I love listening to NPR/KQED (local area) and came across in the beginning of this month a great talk about kids. It was on "Forum" and the guest was Po Bronson. What an amazing discussion on his topic called Nurture Shock.
Essentially, it was about how "we" as parents have an innate tendency to overpraise our children. We want our kids to do well. We don't want them to feel like they are not worthy, etc. Instead of making these praises in a general statement, we need to be very specific. Now, I have heard all of this before and I have always tried to be very specific (having been a teacher and school counselor), but it's different when they are your own children. Added to the genetics is the fact that caregivers can get rattled and end up reacting rather than being just present and conscious (a lot harder than most people think when your own children have needs and continue to share them with you). I am guilty of doing the general statements and then catching myself or not. The great thing is that Po Bronson normalizes it.
I loved the information shared on NPR, but what I got out of it is the understanding that we, as mothers, try to do it all and do it all perfectly. Crazy, eh? This leads me to another book I read many years ago by Bruno Bettelheim called "The Good Enough Parent". I learned that if I take the anxiety away from myself trying to be the "forever conscious" parent, then my kids don't get anxious. I"m not saying it's okay to be in zombie-land while parenting all the time, but those that try so hard to be the "great parent" can chill out a bit.
Isn't this great?! Now go have a glass of wine!!! :o)
Essentially, it was about how "we" as parents have an innate tendency to overpraise our children. We want our kids to do well. We don't want them to feel like they are not worthy, etc. Instead of making these praises in a general statement, we need to be very specific. Now, I have heard all of this before and I have always tried to be very specific (having been a teacher and school counselor), but it's different when they are your own children. Added to the genetics is the fact that caregivers can get rattled and end up reacting rather than being just present and conscious (a lot harder than most people think when your own children have needs and continue to share them with you). I am guilty of doing the general statements and then catching myself or not. The great thing is that Po Bronson normalizes it.
I loved the information shared on NPR, but what I got out of it is the understanding that we, as mothers, try to do it all and do it all perfectly. Crazy, eh? This leads me to another book I read many years ago by Bruno Bettelheim called "The Good Enough Parent". I learned that if I take the anxiety away from myself trying to be the "forever conscious" parent, then my kids don't get anxious. I"m not saying it's okay to be in zombie-land while parenting all the time, but those that try so hard to be the "great parent" can chill out a bit.
Isn't this great?! Now go have a glass of wine!!! :o)
Monday, September 21, 2009
One Love, One Heart
One love, one heart
Let's get together and feel all right
Hear the children crying (One love)
Hear the children crying (One heart)
Sayin', "Give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right."
Ahhhh....Bob Marley and my high school daze!!! Felt the need after a friend of mine who is no longer at ACT, but in Florida teaching at the university, sang Marley. Also, it helps that I was just at a Science Committee meeting and remember those days when I was a teacher staying late at night for the students. Students weren't there, but parents and teachers were there to help kick start the year with a science bang! I figured it's tough being a parent whilst her husband is on the road, but then I see the teachers and realize I don't have it that rough. Or, if I do, the teachers are still there. So, I will be too. That's right Marley........"I will feel all right".
Let's get together and feel all right
Hear the children crying (One love)
Hear the children crying (One heart)
Sayin', "Give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right."
Ahhhh....Bob Marley and my high school daze!!! Felt the need after a friend of mine who is no longer at ACT, but in Florida teaching at the university, sang Marley. Also, it helps that I was just at a Science Committee meeting and remember those days when I was a teacher staying late at night for the students. Students weren't there, but parents and teachers were there to help kick start the year with a science bang! I figured it's tough being a parent whilst her husband is on the road, but then I see the teachers and realize I don't have it that rough. Or, if I do, the teachers are still there. So, I will be too. That's right Marley........"I will feel all right".
I"m Sorry
Oh dear.....it's been so long! I'm so sorry for neglecting my blog. I get into these modes where I want to blog and then I'm tired of blogging. Life gets busy with a family.
What all has happened since 2008? A Lot!!!
1. Our cabin in Tahoe burned down and it's finally getting re-built. Yes, it looks like Mars up there, but it's getting done. Added square footage and hopefully, it'll be done by winter time.
2. Greg, my husband, has been home for over a year. He turned away 3 jobs. I know it's not the best time, but he really missed being with the boys and I dont' blame him. I got spoiled with him around. He's now on the road again with Young Frankenstein.
3. I"m a year older. Love it!
4. Went to Hawaii for Dec 08; NYC to visit Adrienne Apr. 09; San Diego Aug. 09. It's been fun!!!
5. Still in the window business and now distributing and getting acquainted with Passive House regulations that are great for our environment!!!! Such energy efficiency!!!! Love it.
6. Kids are older and wiser. Wiser? Well, they try. They are adorable and I love seeing them grow and learn new things in life.
I'm off to a Science Curriculum meeting now to keep our school in tip top shape since...well....everyone knows how the Ca. State Budget is these days. I have to do my part!
Will be back soon.
What all has happened since 2008? A Lot!!!
1. Our cabin in Tahoe burned down and it's finally getting re-built. Yes, it looks like Mars up there, but it's getting done. Added square footage and hopefully, it'll be done by winter time.
2. Greg, my husband, has been home for over a year. He turned away 3 jobs. I know it's not the best time, but he really missed being with the boys and I dont' blame him. I got spoiled with him around. He's now on the road again with Young Frankenstein.
3. I"m a year older. Love it!
4. Went to Hawaii for Dec 08; NYC to visit Adrienne Apr. 09; San Diego Aug. 09. It's been fun!!!
5. Still in the window business and now distributing and getting acquainted with Passive House regulations that are great for our environment!!!! Such energy efficiency!!!! Love it.
6. Kids are older and wiser. Wiser? Well, they try. They are adorable and I love seeing them grow and learn new things in life.
I'm off to a Science Curriculum meeting now to keep our school in tip top shape since...well....everyone knows how the Ca. State Budget is these days. I have to do my part!
Will be back soon.
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